Kid Funnies

At dinner someone said “Don’t scream you head off.” Seth, 3, replied, “Yeah, cause then you couldn’t see.”

Kamron, 12, wrote a formal essay for his Key of Liberty class and ended it “in Jesus’ name amen.”

Seth screams chasing other kids, “I’m going to get you. I’m the paparazzi!”

“How old are you?”
Seth replied, “I’m three and five. I’m mixed.”

Our black nameless cat brought in his 12th mouse since moving here, and laid it in front of our bedroom door. Our little Siamese cat, Surrey, then came up carrying a moth and laid it next to the mouse and then looked up proudly. Aaah… let each contribute what he can.

We quizzed the younger kids on body parts. Seth said, “You didn’t ask where is my brain.” So I asked, “Where is your brain?” “It’s in my head.” Then he ran around jumping and shouting, “Don’t shake my brain! Don’t shake my brain!” This is the real reason human babies aren’t born mobile; if they were they’d all give themselves shaken baby syndrome.

I bought Eggnog this week. Sethie opened the fridge and his eyes grew big and he says, “Look Mom, there is Christmas in here.”

Our home teacher lives not too far from us and asked us if we could hear him yelling at his kids. Kamron replied very politely, “Oh no, we can’t hear you. We are too busy yelling at each other.”

Aubrey, 10 yrs. says to Millie 8 months, “Say dada.” Millie says, “dadada.” “Say mama,” “Mamamama.” “Say la, la, la.” Millie, replies in her harshest squawk, “unch, unch, unch.” Aubrey pauses and then says, “Well, I don’t think Millie is going to be a singer.”

Brennen, 7, calls me, “Mom, look we can win America’s Funniest Home Video. There is a headless fly doing ballet on the table!” Sure enough, there was. Umm, gross.

We were trying to find a radio station where the DJ was not swearing or talking about something inappropriate. I finally gave up in frustration and said, “In Utah not all the DJ’s cuss.” Aubrey says, “Yeah, we should move to Utah for the radio stations.”