Friday, June 30, 2006

Sewing by the Spirit

The morning my mother passed away I was with her in the hospital, and we talked about when she was released maybe I could go and live in their mobile home behind their house as I was expecting my third child and living in a two bedroom apartment while my husband finished school. Then I could be there with her, the children would have room to play and she could teach me to sew. As I prayed following her death I remember being angry and telling God that I still needed my mother and she was not done raising me and then I blurted out and how will I ever learn to sew. Then I heard, "I know how to sew." It was not audible, but it was real. This was followed by a feeling of warmth and peace. It was a great part of what brought acceptance for me. I knew that even if my mother was gone there was Someone who could help me through all the little things, even learning how to sew.

As I struggle to learn this skill I have taken Him at His word and when I can't get the directions to make any sense I have prayed and had things suddenly become clear or I have been prompted to look in a certain book or to call my sister. I am slowly learning to ask for help from those who know and to read about what I shuld do. Through these promptings I have found valuable resources and I am progressing. It is no false humility when I say I am still not very good at it-I have made very few things without some pretty obvious imperfections, but I am progressing. Living by the Spirit does not mean he prompts your every action, but rather that he prompts where you need it and then expects you to use what you've learned, the methods and the resources that he has led you to. I feel like it is a little bit like guiding a child, you direct them a lot at first and then start to back off more and more so that they can do it independantly. Sometimes they may not feel like they are ready to do it on their own and then they surprise themselves by doing it and they grow. We can live by the spirit even in our little day to day things that seem so insignificant. Those little insignificant things can teach us big lessons about God and ourselves, and in the mean time I will also learn to sew.

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